My If

I have pondered this word “if” often.

“If I knew I couldn’t fail…what would I do?”

No answer seemed to fit or make sense to me.

You see, I don’t believe in living with “if”. To live on, “What ifs”, would keep me from being the person God created. But then I realized, I am living my “if” life right now. I am a Christian who seeks a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I know I’m going to fail and that’s o.k. It’s in my failures God refines me and then molds me more into the person He intends for the purpose of His kingdom. Think of this, Babe Ruth struck out more than he had home runs, but became one of best hitters in baseball.

Even though I say I am a Christian, I’m not perfect. I will make mistakes and “strike out” and walk away with my head low and bat dragging behind me. What I’m saying is….as a Christian I have Jesus…and ask his forgiveness those times I fail. He lifts my chin, brushes the dirt away, hands me my bat, and then pushes me to home plate to swing again.

You’ll never do your “if” without failure in pursuit to fulfill God’s dream for you!

Give Me Jesus

I’m listening to the song, Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus by Michael W. Smith. It is a beautiful rendition which starts with a violin playing through the first verse with no words. Then the voices come in and sing. It ends, as it began, with the peaceful, calming, vibrato of the violin.

I never thought things would be so different this year than last year. Once again, I am faced with change. I’ll be honest, I hate change. I’ve had to do it so many times with all the moving my family has done in the last nine years. Each new place we arrived at, I worked endlessly to make my house a home and give my children stability as quickly as my physical body would allow me. The great thing is no matter where we were the sun always rose in the East and set in the West and my Jesus…He was always with us too.

I will look back on the struggles of these past few months and know God stretched me and molded me more into the person He desired so I might do His work and spread His love which He alone has embedded upon my heart through His endless love in the life He gave on the cross at Calvary. I beg Him for His healing rain every day and amazingly He offers His grace and mercy so I might walk with my head lifted soaking up every once of Shekinah glory.

Now Fernando Ortega is singing, Just Give Me Jesus. “You can have all this world, but give me Jesus…When I rise…give me Jesus…When I am alone…give me Jesus…And when I come to die…give me Jesus.” I came to know the Lord at a very young age. I choose Jesus. I will always choose Jesus. He is my life and He knows my heart better than anyone. You can have all this world…just give me Jesus!

The Birthday Girl

The flames flickered on the five candles which stood tall atop the fanciful cake. The chin of the birthday girl rested upon her hands as she stared with a broad smile at the sweet treat. The orange flames glowed brightly as others around her sang...happy birthday...and they watched the candles light dance in her jubilant hazel eyes.

The picture was so clear and the colors so vivid. The joy could be felt and love could be seen even though I was only the dreamer. I was in a close up frame watching a birthday celebration for a five year old according to the candles on the cake, but the birthday girl...she was much older indeed with a familiar sense as if I should know her. She was stunningly beautiful and perfect in every way from the strands of her long hair to the white of her manicured nails.The Giver of the dream panned the camera out so I might capture the view from a further distance. As the picture grew larger, more birthday cakes began to appear, more candles flickered, and more birthday girls but also birthday boys sat in front of their specially prepared cake. The room was massive unlike nothing I had ever seen. There was so much joy...so much glory I could hardly take it all in.

I scanned the room and my eye caught hold of Him. He was donned in a purple robe, crowned with gold and diamonds, and breathtakingly beautiful. It was my Jesus! He lifted his arms with definitive gracefulness in an upward motion and delightfully said,"Happy birthday my children!"I knew it was heaven and Christ the King was celebrating the anniversary of the day some of his children finally came home. I realized this must happen every day for every day new souls enter His presence.The camera panned back in for a close up of the first birthday girl in the beginning of the dream. This time the picture focused on the name which appeared on the top of the cake. It said,"Happy Birthday Mayme!"
~
I still grieve with a heavy heart some days the loss of my grandmother,

Mayme Dominica Bowser, who with no doubt walked through the pearly gates nearly five years ago. Unfortunately, I realize it is for my own selfish reasons that I wish she were still here with me. I realized through the image of the dream I was looking at the anniversary of her death all wrong. I should not mourn, but celebrate the anniversary of her birth to heaven's home!
I love you grandma and can't wait to walk the winding river holding your hand and sit under the tree of life and talk awhile with you!

James Brian Reilly Tribute 9-11

His gentle hands dipped down to the mother’s arms to pick up the swaddled baby. The closer baby Katherine came toward his body the broader his smile. He would hold his goddaughter’s head in the crook of his elbow and look upon her with adoration, coo to her, and stroke her soft cheek with the tip of his index finger. The smile and the love Uncle Jimmy rained on Katherine will never be forgotten.

James Brian Rielly was on the 89th floor of the South Tower of the World Trade Center when the first plane hit the north tower at 8:46 am on September 11, 2001. He called his two room mates and his father to let them know all was well with him. But unbeknownst to James, a second plane, United Flight Airlines 175, was in flight and slammed into the South Tower at 9:02 am on national television for the world to watch with astonishment, shock, and awe. James Brian Rielly, the young, bright, 25 year old bond trader who worked for Keefe, Bruyette, and Woods was never heard from again.

I did not know James Rielly, but today I remember him and the young life that was lost this day ten years ago. May we all remember those lives that were cut short that fateful day, September 11, 2001.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray for those today who are still grieving the loss of a friend or family member who's death was sadly brought upon them on this day ten years ago. Please hold them close beneath the shelter or your loving arms and let peace arise in their heart amidst the heart ache and pain. Please shed a full measure of your grace and blessings to the hurting souls who mourn in remembrance of this day.

~Amen

What's your Treasure?

Treasure=wealth stored up..something of great value...keep as precious.

There is a treasure in every trial.

So let's look for the treasure,

don't complain about our circumstance,

and praise God all along the way!

Let us rejoice in God's word,

as one who finds great treasure!

For where your treasure is

there your heart will be also!

Dear Heavenly Father,

I thank you for who you are and for the life you gave that I might have abundant hope which leads to everlasting joy! Help me realize the manifestation of Jesus in my own life as a believer in You! Even though trials will come...and they will come...I can not be crushed, I can not be destroyed, and I will not be left in despair for my Redeemer lives! Help me to see and understand the treasure in the trial...that despite the difficulty...You keep me as precious though the growing pains at times seem unbearable. Let me desire the treasure of my life to be You and hold You as precious and dear in every action and utterance as You lavish Your love upon me! For where my treasure is there my heart will be also! Help me Abba to always treasure You...honor You...love You! Fill my cup to overflowing that the abundance of my heart would spill joyfully into the lives of others sharing Jesus Christ with one and all!

~Amen

My true treasure is the gift of Jesus Christ!

"I rejoice in your word as one who finds great treasure."

~Psalm 119:162

"For where your treasure is there your heart will be also"

~Matthew 6:21

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body"

~II Corinthians 4:7-10