The windows in the old Victorian house rattled and the wood floor shook beneath my feet as the oncoming train passed in the valley below my childhood home. The whistle blew long and loud to warn all, the train was coming thru. I can still hear that whistle and picture in my mind the puffs of smoke as they rose to meet my eyes while I watched from my bedroom window.
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| Ruthie 9 years old...diagnosed |
It’s funny the things that come to mind sometimes from my childhood. But maybe, just maybe this is something the Lord wanted me to remember this day. I found out that my lovely little girl might have a form of Autism. There is no firm diagnosis at this time. She must go through many tests and evaluations. You see, Autism, causes a person to not be able to understand the emotions of a relationship with other people.
There are a lot of things that now seem so unimportant compared to the health and well being of my daughter. Just as I remember the thunder of the train as a child, God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways. He does great things beyond my understanding. He makes my eyes see past the given circumstance to reveal the cross before me causing me to always have hope amidst the storm. He makes my feet rumble as they move to seek a closer walk with Him that I may gain strength in his infinite wisdom as his Holy Spirit whispers sweet comfort. I want the sound of the oncoming train, the train of God, to always be near reminding me of his great power. I want his voice to whistle in the wind thru his Holy Spirit and gently nudge me on as a champion for Christ. But, I also want this same thing for my daughter. If her mind works in such a way that she can not understand the emotions of a relationship, can she have a friendship with Christ as I have prayed for since the day she was born?
I know there is nothing… nothing beyond my Immanuel’s most capable hands and nothing I can not overcome thru Christ who strengthens me. He will be my rock in this time of need. He will be the one I seek when I want to just cry. He will be the one to wipe the tears and put me back on my feet and say,
“Stand up my child and walk with courage.”
No, I know he never gives us more than we can handle. He chose me to be Ruthie’s Mom. He knew I would be strong enough to help her learn about Him and love Him despite the obstacles that together we might encounter. He chose Ruth to be my daughter. He gave her to me, because he knew I had what it would take to raise her to know and love the Lord!
I wrote this piece 10 years ago and Ruth was diagnosed on the Autism spectrum shortly thereafter. She is now 18 years old nearing her 19th birthday. It is has not always been an easy ride
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| Ruth now 18! having to be an advocate for her. But I would have it no other way. I would never change a thing. And all the questions I wrote about above...God has heard my prayer and answered loud and clear. Ruth does have a relationship with her Heavenly Father. Sometimes I think she is closer to Him than most would ever know. She is precious, sweet, tenacious, and never ceases to surprise me! She is joyful, funny, and such a pleasure to be around. She will graduate high school this June and will attend college seeking a four year degree in Marine Biology! I love her and for as much as I thought God gave her to me because He knew I was the right mom to raise her for the Lord, He also knew I needed her to see Him in an amazing way! "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."~Psalm 139:13-14 |
