Held

When is the sacred torn from your life? Maybe for some this statement might mean the loss of a child. Maybe to others a divorce you didn’t expect and yet others maybe a chronic health issue that keeps you from being what you once were. It’s like a thorn pushed deep within your flesh and just when you think you have learned to walk with that depth of pain…something or someone comes along and hits the thorn causing greater anguish and reminding us how human we are and just how much we need Jesus.

Sometimes for me the thorn embeds so deeply within my heart…it seems permanent…irremovable…and everlasting. The grief is overwhelming and the desperation leaves my mind spinning as I wonder how I overcome the pain.

And then it happens…

somewhere in the midst of the fog which forbids me to see my own hand in front of me…

out of nowhere…

I feel His amazing touch.

It is unmistakable, warm, and lovely in every way.

And soon even though I can’t see my hand I see his nail pierced palm, as his finger which made the very stars I see in the night sky, wipe my fragile tears away. He soothes my sadden soul and bids me to come close and sit awhile with Him. He hums familiar hymns like Amazing Grace and soon I hear the words whispered gentle in perfect pitch. My forever friend…Jesus… comforts me like none other. He never…never…never…turns away from me. He stays right by my side, down in the trenches of my wretched sin with his hand outstretched just waiting…waiting to hold me in his loving arms. This is how I know what it is like to be held…to be loved unconditionally…and know my Jehovah-Shalom…the Lord of my Peace.

Thank you my best friend and first love…your beloved daughter Shannon!

Heaven...I Can Only Imagine ~ MercyMe w/ London Symphony Orchestra

I love to dream about heaven. It brings such peace to my soul as I let my imagination roar as a lion. Heaven will be all the sweet things that I see…rainbows, butterflies, the smiles of my children, blue skies, sun, birds, the array of beautiful colors seen in the flowers, and the dew upon the grass. Heaven will be all the sweet things I smell…apple pie baking in the oven, the fragrance of a fresh rain, the lilacs in bloom, my children as babies, and the unique smell of grandmas home. Heaven will be all the sweet things I touch…holding my child’s hand, the kiss of my husband’s lips upon mine, the hug between family and friends, the wind felt on my face, the sand between my toes. Heaven will be all the sweet things I hear…birds singing, my children laughing, the breeze fluttering the leaves, the rhythm of the ocean breaking onto the shore, and music of any kind. Heaven is the taste of all I love…chocolate, pizza, fine wine, homemade ice tea, and of course coffee!

All these things I am sure will be in heaven, yet heaven will also be so much more. Peace will abound and sorrow will be extinct. The only tears I think you will see are those of pure joy. The music will be absolutely outstanding. I hope to talk with those I have only read about like John, Paul, Peter, and Esther. I will see those I have missed so dearly…my grandma Bowser and many more. It will be fellowship, celebration, and jubilant hearts. The souls of all who enter His gates will be so full of praise for the one and only…Jesus! The streets of gold will shine, but I can’t wait to walk the winding river and sit under the tree of life and bask in the presence of His holiness. But the one thing I long for most is to meet my best friend Jesus and clean His feet with the tears of joy from my eyes and dry them with the locks of my hair. I hope He knows just how much I love Him and long to see Him! Yes, heaven is the place a long to be. It will be my final home forever more!

Let Freedom Ring - July Front Porch

Just Give Me Jesus

The question I ask myself as of late…

“Can I see the reflection of myself within the gaze of my Father’s eyes?”

Maybe this might seem like an odd question because really who actually sees Jesus…face to face…and behold the Son of God? I would gander to say probably not many and I would think this a rare occurrence which God does not permit on a daily basis. But then again…maybe I’m wrong. Maybe God does let us see his Son face to face but we are to busy “doing” and we miss His gaze upon us, His smiles, and maybe even the touch of His finger tap upon our shoulder. We have our agenda planned and in order to feel accomplished we need to get it done.

I think maybe the Holy Spirit has placed this question upon my heart. It’s a conversation within me that goes something like this…

“Shannon…sit awhile…be calm…rest in the Great I am. Don’t be so busy and plan your day. What if you just don’t plan anything and see what God has planned for you today? You never know where He’s going to take you. Think of it as a grand walk in the park with Christ. It will be just you and Him with your hand within His nail pierced palm. You will see so much more than if you walk alone. You will gaze upon the flowers…and He will have all your favorites to view…the fragrance will sing of His love and grace. And maybe He will choose to add some friends that He just knows you will fill with hope and cheer. But maybe Jesus just wants your hands to toil not for your own gratitude, but in rhythm with His making a nice meal for a family. The possibilities are endless and the breath of life unto your soul refreshing.”

Just give me Jesus. He is all I need!

Lord Jesus, please help me this day to just bask in your love. Allow my mind to think of you every moment of this day. I want you to be a part of everything I do. I don’t want to leave you at the front door step waving goodbye and sad because I once again forgot about you. All the while you never leave me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your endless love for this sinner’s soul! I just want you to know how precious you are to me and I am sorry if I have hurt your feelings by choosing to go it alone. I need you Jesus!

 Amen.

7 x 70

I rested my eyes upon the Old Victorian for the last time. I will never return until the day my father is called home. The once pristine house full of character and charm is nothing but a shell of old brittle bones. It was a very sad site for my eyes to behold, but sadder yet the true reality of a person who grieves the precious Holy Spirit. I am afraid for my dad who will not heed to the reigns of the Spirit and makes me question if he indeed truly received Jesus as Lord of his life. I walked away angry, ashamed, and with ultimatums posed to my dad from his only daughter he once called “sweetie pie”. My heart is so sad and I wonder how much more my heart must endure the lies and untruths. I am tired and full of grief. I ask my God, “Why?” But I know the answer only will be found in one word…forgive…again. God will pick up my heart again and lift my feet from the ground and dance with me and hold me close for awhile. I will be o.k…this I know because my Abba has promised me. But if you read this, I just ask that you would please say a short prayer for my dad. I know God does answer prayer and weeps with me on behalf of my dad.

Were You There - Selah

A Few of My Favorite Things!

All of my memorable momentos make for all the things I love and enjoy the most and make a wonderful display on the side table of my bed.

I love mixing it up when I decorate. In the midst of the rainy spring day a little cleaning and deocrating was happening at my home. The old chennel bedspread I found in mint condition for $13.00 at an antique market. You catch a glimpse of one of the many quilts my mother-in-law Ida made for us. I finally put some pictures of my kids on the wall, but think I need to paint the frames silver instead of gold (another weekend project). I just love the items I put on my bed side table...take a closer look!

The little white lamp I got at a garage sale for $2.00!!! I love black and white photos of my family. The pictured here is of my husband and my youngest son Samuel at the age of two at our Myrtle Beach vacation.

The shells and feathers were collected by my children on the shores in the Hamptons where we spent Thanksgiving 2009 with my husband's brother Andy.

A book I received as a gift from my dear friend and sister in Christ, Julie Krukow from DeWitt, IA




  

I recieved this cross after speaking on piety at a CEW retreat at St. Jospeh's in DeWitt, IA



Yahweh

I sat quietly on the couch as the thunder clad and the lightening flashed in the night sky. It made me think about the power of God. But at the same time, rain came down hard and the drops seemed to race down the window panes trickling in a fashion which reminded me of His great peace in the midst of the storm. It is only our God...Yahweh...who can sprout joy from beneath the dirt and despair of grief, depression, and angst. He never leaves nor forsakes us, but encamps around us pitching His tent of grace and glory to protect us from the storm. He stands firm against the schemes of the evil one and asks only that we continue to praise him and have joy despite the battle which rages around us. We must remember that in Christ's death the victory over sin and death has already been won.

"The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them."

~Psalm 34:7

Soul Freedom

The walls I built,

Around my heart,

Made of glass,

Were made of glass,

Where lillies grow,

and never bloom.

I must surrender,

Lay it all down,

Let the Master,

Shatter my walls,

And quench my thrist

With Living Water.

~

Freedom in my soul only prevails to a heart which surrenders!

I work so hard to control my outcome in all facets of my life. I have left myself exhausted and sweating profusly in my losing effort. Why do I set myself up for such failure?

Freedom in my soul only prevails to a heart which surrenders!

I painstakingly endeavor to "do" more and "be" less thinking I will feel purposefull, yet remain empty and and full of sorrow. Why do I forget the One for whom my hands toil?

Freedom in my soul only prevails to a heart which surrenders!

Please dear God help me to lay everything down at your feet! Amen.

My Friend Depression

Is it alright to just feel sad as I do today? I miss dear friends and long for my family, but yet all at the same time I am happy within my heart. It is my mind which causes such grief. Sometimes I think I know how my grandma felt those lonely days sitting at her kitchen table with her Bible open reading God’s promises to keep her going. I do that often for long periods of time. I have a friend called depression which I battle more than I would like. I am begging the Lord to let the sun come out today that I might soak its rays upon my face and think of Him.


Please don’t feel badly for me. This too shall pass. I am just in a period of readjusting my medicine, but I dislike this very much and sometimes question why the Lord just doesn’t heal me. But it is my thorn to bear and with Him I shall overcome and my mind will be at peace once again for my Savior constantly whispers in my ear just how much He loves me.

My dear friend in Iowa, Michelle, who God granted for our roads to cross and whom I miss with all my heart, posted this song on Facebook this morning. I think it was meant just for me and maybe just for you too!


 

Verse 1

There is a hope that burns within my heart

That gives me strength for ev'ry passing day

...A glimpse of glory now revealed in meager part

Yet drives all doubt away

I stand in Christ with sins forgiv'n

And Christ in me the hope of heav'n

My highest calling and my deepest joy

To make His will my home

Verse 2

There is a hope that lifts my weary head

A consolation strong against despair

That when the world has plunged me

In its deepest pit

I find the Savior there

Through present suff'rings future's fear

He whispers courage in my ear

For I am safe in everlasting arms

And they will lead me home

Verse 3

There is a hope that stands the test of time

That lifts my eyes beyond the beck'ning grave

To see the matchless beauty of a day divine

When I behold His face

When suff'rings cease and sorrows die

And ev'ry longing satisfied

Then joy unspeakable will flood my soul

For I am truly home

Misc 1

(ENDING)

When suff'rings cease and sorrows die

And ev'ry longing satisfied

Then joy unspeakable will flood my soul

For I am truly home