I am struggling within the confines of my mind. I can’t put a finger on this sense of overwhelming sadness. I have no reason to be sad. I have so much to be grateful for because the Lord has indeed blessed my life. Yet sadness seems to greet me around every corner I turn. Yet I question whether it is sadness which begs for my attention, or is it God stirring my soul to awaken to a new beginning? This question begs me to ask another. Am I ready for a new beginning? But then I question if the “new beginning” has always been there waiting for me to approach and accept the responsibility of the task at hand, the task God gifted me to be able to do, or have I sat idly by with excuse after excuse as to my incapacity to do the very thing God made me to do.
Dear Heavenly Father,
If it is a new beginning you are preparing me for, let me see what it is you have for me to do. But Father, if the new beginning has been staring me in the face and I have not acted upon your gentle nudges, please forgive me and help me to be confident to do your will. Please give me discernment during this time of lament so I might draw a smile upon your face.