Saturday, November 29, 2008
If anyone ever thought when they become a Christian life would instantly be easy and good, they were sadly mistaken. I've personally known Jesus for almost 32 years. He found me at the young age of ten and I've tried...earnestly tried to live a respectable love filled life for Him.
I fall short...I fall very short so much of the time.
Sometimes I just loose it. I crash and burn. I really don't understand why Jesus still chooses to love this disobedient, judgemental, at times very angry soul. I sit here at this very moment with tears streaming down my face and breathing through my mouth because of a terrible cold. I stand and look in the mirror at the red blotted face and bloodshot eyes and wonder what God really sees in me. What is my purpose? I feel like I let so many, especially my family, down. What people see in me, I do not see in myself.
I'm hard on myself. My dad always use to tell me the six "P's".
But no matter how hard I plan to prevent a poor performance on my part, I still end up disappointing many. Including disappointing myself which leads to deep unworthiness. An unworthiness not only to God, but to all whom I love and care for most.
Depression is an awful thing for anyone to have to deal with...I should know...I struggle often with this to the point of total breakdown. I saw this green t-shirt at Wally world. It was a pretty green. What I liked most about the shirt was what the studded gems on the front spelled...JOY. I wore it Thanksgiving day. I wanted to be reminded all day long that even if I didn't feel joy I wanted to see it and read it and remind myself that I have every right to JOY! My heavenly Father whispers to me even now that, YES...yes I do have a right to JOY! Thank you my Lord!
Even though I walk through the shadow of death...I will fear no evil for thou art with me thy rod and they staff they comfort me...Peace I give you...Peace I leave you...in this world you will have trouble but take heart...for I have overcome the world. Count it pure joy my brothers when you suffer trials of many kinds knowing that the testing of your faith develops perserverance and perserverance must finish its work so I may lack no good thing. The Lord is close to the broken hearted and those crushed in spirit. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him.
I repeat and repeat these Bible verses in my mind when I get this way...depressed...and I write. So sorry if this post seems rather joyless, but it helps heal me and bring me back to Jesus.
Posted by Shannon Jacobyansky at 7:22 PM
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
During my time with the Lord today, I read the daily devotion for November 25th in the book “The Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers. He questioned his readers about their “spiritual coherency” by asking if we were more coherent of the things of this world or more coherent of matters concerning the cross.
What does coherent mean I pondered. Well I thought I knew what it meant, but I had to look the word up and be sure… dictionary.com stated the physics of coherency was relating to or having waves with similar direction…capable to thinking and expressing yourself in a clear and consistent manner; a “lucid thinker”… sticking together.
Which led me to look up lucid…easily understood clear perception or understanding…shining or bright.
So I ask, are you spiritually coherent this day? Are the waves of your life, good or bad, going in a similar direction…back to the cross? Do you think and express yourself in a clear consistent manner always sticking to the Lord Jesus shining as a bright star that others might see Christ in you? In everything we do there must be a clear and concise trail that leads back to the cross. If there is not and our path lingers too far to the left or too far to the right, we are not thinking with a spiritually coherent mind.
I always use to tell my players when I coached basketball they needed to be able to do the fundamentals well. It would make them a better ball player and enable them to do more to help the team down the road. If they found themselves going through a bad streak, I would preach get back to the fundamentals and often spend time with them before or after practice working with them to become better at the basics. In order to stay spiritually coherent we need to get back to the fundamentals. These include praise, prayer, reading the Word of God, and a solid church foundation where your soul can be fed and nourished by fellow believers.
I think I need to get back to the fundamentals and practice what I preach…lol!
Posted by Shannon Jacobyansky at 9:14 AM
Friday, November 21, 2008
A peaceful calm rests upon me when I awake in the morning to a fresh fallen snow. It is so breathtaking to see the untouched beauty from our creator before the sun erases the glistening fluff or we track our footprints on the soft ground causing the mud to rise to the surface in the outline of our shoe.
We are less than a week away from Thanksgiving and soon the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season will be upon us. But let us remember that Christ is a part of Christmas. He was the fresh fallen snow God sent from heaven. He was the pure and breathtaking beauty of God in the flesh. He came to give us peace and calm our anxious souls so hope might be revealed and free us forevermore!
So I plead and I ask for all to look deeply within your own heart this Christmas season and please do not trample on the glistening snow...our Savior and best friend...the diamond given to us from God..., but sit quietly, listen, and view all that Christ wishes to reveal to you. Admire His stedfast love for you and let His love reach out through you to touch the lives of others!
Posted by Shannon Jacobyansky at 8:20 PM
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I want to be close to Him,
just touch the hem of His robe,
feel the breath of heaven against my face,
I do indeed as He lavishes His grace!
I cry tears of joy and not of pain,
for when they pierced hands,
He pierced my heart,
I'm in love with the one who gave His life for me!
So you see why,
He won my heart this day and forever more,
He gave me life...He gave me hope,
He loosed the chains of bondage from this wounded soul!
Posted by Shannon Jacobyansky at 7:33 AM
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
The first snow,
glistened upon the ground,
only the King could create.
The white diamonds,
set gently upon the branch of the pine,
whispering words from my Savior,
All was still and quiet,
with only the chirp of the cardinal,
singing to my soul,
how great Thou art.
Posted by Shannon Jacobyansky at 8:45 AM
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
After writing my last post, I've come to the realization that some might not know the meaning of a God wink or King kiss. A God wink is when you see God's blessings in the little things. The Lord smiles upon you in sweet admiration of His dear child.
When you are reading scripture, hopefully daily, and a specific verse seems to just jump off the pages and slam dunk your emotions stirring you to feel the closeness of God or find the answer to a prayer...you've just been kissed by the King!
I hope this helps you understand my lingo. I also hope for many God winks and King kisses for you soon! If you've had a God wink or King kiss I'd love to hear your story!
Posted by Shannon Jacobyansky at 8:26 PM
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I feel forgetful and my mind is in a state of haziness. I have not been feeling well as I have been suffering with sinus congestion and a cough. A good nights rest has avoided me for several days now causing my eyes to feel very heavy.
Frankly, I feel as if I have been avoiding God to a certain extent these past several weeks….not intentionally…but when I pondered my life’s situation at the moment I wondered why I did not feel God close to me. I have felt lately as if I am in a dark room with no light and I’m feeling around with my hands and slowly shuffling my feet trying to get a sense of direction and not bump into anything. But to no avail the bumping into things just keeps on happening and I find myself constantly saying,
“O that hurt!”
I guess I’m just tired. All the moving we have done over the past seven years has finally taken its toll on me mentally and physically. It has not been an easy road. Especially since this all started when my kids ranged in age from 6 months to 7 years. Now my oldest is almost 14 and my youngest 7 and we’ve lived in six different places during this span of time. My husband has said,
“This is it…we’re not moving ever again.”
I’m thankful for those words. I don’t think I could do it again.
This post is just a rambling of sorts. My mind still feels in a fog. But a friend encouraged me to write. It’s my gift from God. It’s something I do well. At least I think I do. My friend also knows that writing helps me heal. Crying does as well…I’m doing that right now too.
I just need to focus on the God winks and King kisses. I need to sit in my saviors lap awhile and just talk. He knows my heart…my every need…my hurts…my pain. But somehow just being with Him calms me. My heart belongs to Him forever!
Posted by Shannon Jacobyansky at 10:13 PM
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Michelle at Ripples of Peace has tagged me for this fun and interesting MeMe.
SEVEN RANDOM/WEIRD FACTS ABOUT MYSELF:
1. I once asked a mother of twins if they were identical...they were boy and girl twins...lol...very blonde moment!
2. I love to cut things by hand on a wooden cutting board with a big butcher knife!
3. Love coconut!
4. Participated in Junior Miss contestant as a junior in high school. I missed the drees rehearsal because of a basketball game! I'm no beauty queen.
5. I once went on a walk with my cousins on a country road in Western Pennsylvania. We were chased down by a very large German Shepherd. I pushed my younger cousins to the ground so I could climb the tree, but I wet my pants...they didn't...lol!
6. Threw a wet tea bag on my parents white ceiling in the kitchen and made tea bag footprints. My brothers thought it was so funny...mom didn't...lol!
7. My younger brother and I decided to make popcorn on the stove top for the Friday night football game. We forgot the oil....lots of smoke....lol...moved the pan of burnt popcorn off the burner and set it on the plastic table cloth....the pan stuck to the plastic table cloth...in a panic we took the whole mess to the barn and hid it so mom and dad wouldn't know what we had done. However, we couldn't cover up the smell of burnt popcorn....lol!
Posted by Shannon Jacobyansky at 5:48 PM
Sunday, November 9, 2008
It seems many of us struggle
from time to time
about how we are to pray.
Just follow this simple acronym
as you lift your heart in prayer
Repent and confess,
Praise God with a thankful heart!
•God gave us Jesus!
•God never leaves us!
•God lavishes His love upon us!
•What are you thankful for?
Repent and ask for forgiveness!
•All have sinned a fall short!
•Forgive and you will be forgiven!
•Confess your sins to Jesus.
Be specific: lies, disrespect,
Ask and receive!
•Seek and find!
•Ask Jesus to help you or
someone you love.
Yield your life to God!
•The Holy Spirit will guide you!
•Have faith and believe!
Most of all remember
the friend we have in Jesus
and how he longs to hear
from us each and every day.
What are you waiting for...
pull up and empty chair
and talk as if Jesus were sitting
next to you
most of all
just be you!
Posted by Shannon Jacobyansky at 10:39 PM
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Loaf of bread $2.29
Gallon of milk $3.55
Gallon of gas $2.65
Box of Ritz crackers $3.99
Dozzen eggs $1.89
Candy bar $.99
Apples per pound $1.79
Bannans per pound $.59
Case (12) soda $4.99
Pound of butter $2.01
I'll never know just what it cost to see my sin upon the cross!
Thank you Jesus for giving me life!
Posted by Shannon Jacobyansky at 7:45 AM