Monday, April 23, 2012


I have not written on my blog for some time now. I'm not sure why, but only to say my life has changed drastically since January 17th. We pulled my Autistic (Asperger Syndrome) daughter from the public school system and enrolled her in a Pennsylvania cyber charter school. I have earnestly tried to look at this as a blessing...a gift to be of a part of my daughters life and her education despite the angst we went through with the school district in mistreating my daughter on several different levels. I've had to try and find within my heart to forgive, but sometimes I come up empty handed and angry with the schools continued heartlessness towards my daughter in extra curricular activities which according to Pennsylvania state law she is allowed to attend within the district. Technically the district ends up allowing her attend these events, but not without my daughter being singled out and her dad and I left with no other choice but to advocate for her...sometimes it gets the best of us. I become exhausted with the stress and now as a result have decided to just close myself off from everyone except for a chosen few. I took two hours one evening and deleted 90 friends from my facebook page. I am keeping my circle small...I don't know if this is good or bad. I guess time will tell.
God's girl Ruthie!
I had a friend post a scripture on facebook last week. I don't remember the verse, but the verse included the word "steadfast" which struck a chord with me and intrigued me enough to research the word a little bit more. I don't think this was of my own initiative, but that of the Holy Spirit wanting to encourage my soul.

Steadfast ...fixed in a direction, firm in purpose,
resolute, faith,

I firmly believe I was led to this scripture...

"Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me"

~Psalm 51:10

Believers are exhorted to stand firm in the face of temptation and doubt...confident in what God has done for them...

"Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters,
stand firm.
Let nothing move you.
give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord,
because you know that your
labor in the Lord is not in vain."

~I Corinthians 15:58

Dear Heavenly Father...

This is your beloved daughter Shannon.
I come to you today with praise and thanksgiving in my heart
and ask for more unspeakable joy to flow in and through my brokenness.
I am but a poor and miserably sinner
who has no right to ask you for anything,
but I need you! I am nothing without you.
You, Oh God alone, created my inmost being...
knit be together in my mother's womb...
and have had plans for me before I even took my first breath.
Please create in me a renewed spirit of steadfastness.
Give me joy...give me a measure of your peace which
surpasses all understanding.
But most of all grant unto me your grace and your mercy
that I might be able to forgive others
just as you have forgiven me.
I can't do this on my will only come through you
and your great and awesome power for my human frailty
consumes me at this time, but You are greater...
I trust and believe you will grant this unto me.
In the precious name of Jesus...