Loneliness vs. Loneliness

Loneliness is an awkward term or thought that can evoke some of the most soul stirring moments of a person’s life. Sometimes the shadow of loneliness casts darkness over a heart of joy leaving one in utter despair as Satan whispers his lies. Theses untruths echo within our mind and set our life motion into a downward spiral of hopelessness. If we listen long enough, we begin to believe… maybe we don’t have purpose, we are no good, and …what’s the use of even trying.

But this sad and depraved type of loneliness leads me to a second and healthy loneliness. A loneliness that feeds on the very Spirit which gives me life, beckons me to sit at the feet of Jesus or crawl upon His lap between the hems of His robe, and talk awhile with Him. Yes, there is no better place to be when Satan’s arrows quiver close to my soul, but alone in the protective arms of my heavenly Father. When I allow the Spirit of the Living God to sing over me, the shadow of loneliness that Satan cast is no more! For the Son in all His resilient glory reign in the heart of the one whom Jesus loves…his child!

I Loved You First

Lately, I have spent a great amount of time just trying to be quiet so I might hear God. I have worked on just praising God instead of always asking for something during these times of reflection…even when things have gone awry and left me speechless. It has not been an easy thing to do. However, it has gotten easier with time and practice, but still is a challenge in the midst of the sin nature present within me.

I know I have hidden myself away from others these past few months. I have been unsure of what to do, who to trust, and in general very disappointed with myself. Why? I’m not sure. I wish I knew and then maybe I could fix my “stuck” mode. But maybe, just maybe…I’m not supposed to know the why. And maybe I need to be “stuck” so God could once again chisel me a bit more into the image of Him and make His dreams come alive within me instead of my own.

I was at a wedding this past weekend and when the bride danced with her father the chosen song was, “I Loved Her First”. I watched with a tilted head and tear filled eyes as the father softly whispered into his daughter’s ear…and her hand gently lifted to her face to wipe the tears that fell from her eyes. It was precious. But while I stood and gazed at the beautiful scene before me, I could hear the whisper of God telling me…”I loved you first”. I caught myself imagining me in the arms of my Savior, dancing close, and He whispered to me…”I loved you first, I held you first, you still mean the world to me, and there is a place in my heart that will always will be yours…from the first breath you breathed…I loved you first and always will.”

Even though I don’t know what God is up to, I know He has my best interest in mind. I will stand firm on His promises knowing that He will never leave me nor forsake me…for He loved me first! I love you God!

Steadfast

I have not written on my blog for some time now. I'm not sure why, but only to say my life has changed drastically since January 17th. We pulled my Autistic (Asperger Syndrome) daughter from the public school system and enrolled her in a Pennsylvania cyber charter school. I have earnestly tried to look at this as a blessing...a gift to be of a part of my daughters life and her education despite the angst we went through with the school district in mistreating my daughter on several different levels. I've had to try and find within my heart to forgive, but sometimes I come up empty handed and angry with the schools continued heartlessness towards my daughter in extra curricular activities which according to Pennsylvania state law she is allowed to attend within the district. Technically the district ends up allowing her attend these events, but not without my daughter being singled out and her dad and I left with no other choice but to advocate for her...sometimes it gets the best of us. I become exhausted with the stress and now as a result have decided to just close myself off from everyone except for a chosen few. I took two hours one evening and deleted 90 friends from my facebook page. I am keeping my circle small...I don't know if this is good or bad. I guess time will tell.

God's girl Ruthie!

I had a friend post a scripture on facebook last week. I don't remember the verse, but the verse included the word "steadfast" which struck a chord with me and intrigued me enough to research the word a little bit more. I don't think this was of my own initiative, but that of the Holy Spirit wanting to encourage my soul.

Steadfast ...fixed in a direction, firm in purpose,

resolute, faith,

unwavering.

I firmly believe I was led to this scripture...

"Create in me a pure heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me"

~Psalm 51:10



Believers are exhorted to stand firm in the face of temptation and doubt...confident in what God has done for them...

"Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters,

stand firm.

Let nothing move you.

Always

give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord,

because you know that your

labor in the Lord is not in vain."

~I Corinthians 15:58

Dear Heavenly Father...

This is your beloved daughter Shannon.

I come to you today with praise and thanksgiving in my heart

and ask for more unspeakable joy to flow in and through my brokenness.

I am but a poor and miserably sinner

who has no right to ask you for anything,

but I need you! I am nothing without you.

You, Oh God alone, created my inmost being...

knit be together in my mother's womb...

and have had plans for me before I even took my first breath.

Please create in me a renewed spirit of steadfastness.

Give me joy...give me a measure of your peace which

surpasses all understanding.

But most of all grant unto me your grace and your mercy

that I might be able to forgive others

just as you have forgiven me.

I can't do this on my own...it will only come through you

and your great and awesome power for my human frailty

consumes me at this time, but You are greater...

I KNOW THIS FULL WELL!

I trust and believe you will grant this unto me.

In the precious name of Jesus...

~Amen

Heirs of God

WE NEED TO KNOW FOR CERTAIN THAT WE ARE A BELOVED CHILD OF GOD BECAUSE THIS WILL EFFECT EVERYTHING WE DO IN LIFE.

~Stormie Omartian

"The Prayer that Changes Everything"

"The Spirit Himself bears witness

with our spirit that we are children of God."

~Romans 8:16

Accept One Another - Day 2 Lent 2012

"Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."

~Romans 15:7

I read this scripture and a big...huh...spilled from my mouth. Now I've heard a million or so times we are to love one another as Christ loves us, but love and accept...ouch! How do I accept another person when that individual (a brother or sister in Christ) drives me crazy and coaxes and extra amount of grace from my already empty well for them. I'm sure everyone reading this has already had at least one person pop into their mind...maybe even more then one.

Psssssssst...start praising God for that individual. Yes, praise God who made that person for a specific reason no matter how emotional they are ALL the time, no matter how much they like to talk, or how many times they think their idea is the best or the only way.

God loves them just as much as he loves you. After all, they too are part of God's creation. They too are fearfully and wonderfully made...unique...predestined by God himself. Yes, the bothersome brother or sister in Christ who unnerves you leaving your eyes permenantly stuck in the back of your brain was made by God for God...just like you!

Now that's something to think about!



Ash Wednesday...Lent Day One 2012

Today, Ash Wednesday, starts what is probably my favorite six weeks in the entire calendar year. It is a time of deep reflection, self examination, and overwhelming adoration for my King Jesus. So you ask,

"What am I giving up for Lent?"

I always give up soda...Diet Coke is my favorite. But I'm going to try, with the help of God, to give up asking for things for myself when I pray. Instead of requests on my behalf...I want to give back to my heavenly Father praise and adoration.

I have already been attempting this unselfish task for a couple of weeks. Let me tell you it is not as easy as one might think. The words "I" and "me" come quickly to my tongue. I found  myself reminded by the gentle nudges of the Spirit saying...

"No, no, no" followed by "Praise, praise, praise".

On my birthday earlier this week I was given a book from a very good friend. She had no idea I was practicing praise in my prayer time. The book she gave me..."The Power that Changes Everything" by Stormie Omartian. Guess what the prayer is that changes everything? Yep, you guessed...the prayer of praise! In this book Stormie discusses reasons to praise God and when praise is absolutely crucial for us.

Over these next six weeks of Lent, I am dedicating my blog to the praise of my Savior Jesus Christ. I hope to share inspiring scripture, quotes, and excerpts from, "The Prayer that Changes Everything" to motivate you to praise God like you never have before and grasp the power which is at your fingertips through the adoration of our Abba.

His Love Song

As the wind whips and the branches bow, I think of His almighty power to turn water into wine, make the blind man see, and remove the rock from the tomb. He is amazing, this man I call friend. He is my applause and confidence as I champion my life for his glory. Though others might sneer and snicker behind my back, I only try to let God work and love others threw me. I am his vessel.

It does me no good to harbor a grudge against that of another man. This only breeds toxins in my soul and blocks the very love I so desire to please. It brings sadness to my Lord when I lay bricks of sin around my heart and deadens the relationship he longs for and deeply desires…fellowship with me! But he never leaves me in these troublesome occasions, but continues through the precious Holy Spirit to whisper his love song to me.

And then…I feel his touch deep within and fall to my knees. I ask for forgiveness once again. The bricks of sin which I had built no longer stand, no longer stand, but have been removed by my Saviors hands through the precious blood of the lamb.

Breathless for You

A long walk with you in the morning leaves me breathless all the daylong and thirst continually for more time with my forever friend.  Just as the sun always rises in the east sky and sets on the western horizon, so also I am confident of your love for me. You are compassionate, gracious, abundant in goodness and truth. You are generous and never give to get something in return. You satisfy all my desires and I dream of the day when I continually praise your for anything and everything that happens in my life…whether good or bad. For I know full well all things work together for good to those who love you and seek you.

I am chosen!

I am royal!

I am holy!

I am special!

I am called!

I am the one whom Jesus loves!

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.”

~I Peter 2:9