Thursday, October 28, 2010

Tranquility's Best Moment

My heart melts as I allow my mind to only dwell upon Him. I seem so close to Him in these times of quietness. Nothing else seems to really matter. It’s just me and my best friend sharing. I give Him a piece of me and He in turn gives me His peace. It is tranquility at its best moment. In these reflections I imagine. I think of what it would be like to have the gentle hands of my healer brush across the top of my hand until our hands are clasped together in a tight embrace. I would see his nail pierced scar of redemption for the first time and tears would begin to fall from my eyes.

I’m sorry Jesus.

It was me.

I did it.

I put you on the cross.

I made you suffer.

My head is downcast. I am so ashamed I can’t bear to look upon His face. And then I hear the movement of white linen and feel the tip of one his fingers wrapped in the hem of his robe dab a salted drop on my cheek. I turn my head and dare to look at the man who gave me life. He is my amazing Jesus.

I love you!

You are forgiven.

Now live like you’re forgiven.

You are free.

Now live like you’re free.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My Desire

Some people crave chocolate. Others may crave a good salty potato chip. Yet for others it may be some good hot wings. I too love anything sweet. At times, I just have to eat something with sugar to satisfy my desire. Although with God’s help, I am trying desperately to curb this unhealthy habit. It wouldn’t be so bad to just have a little something sweet every once in a while, but I seem to overindulge too often.

After I tucked my children in bed last evening, I couldn’t wait to return downstairs and just have some quiet moments with Jesus. The feeling struck me much the same as those insane cravings to fulfill my sweet tooth. It was with great excitement and anticipation I turned the lights off except for a small table lamp. The butterfly in my stomach subsided as I threw the blanket over my legs and began to breathe in deeply and exhale slowly. I just wanted to meet my Savior. I wanted his peace to abound in every beat of my heart.

My quiet time was interspersed with the sound of my voice lifting up audible prayers to my Lord. I just needed to talk to my best friend for awhile and bask in his never ending love. The moments were precious and my desire fulfilled. It brought such peace, I actually fell asleep.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray you would continue to let me desire time with you. Let me thirst for you to refresh my soul. Remind me Lord to slow down and look up. Only you can squelch the busyness of life as you draw me to sit at your feet.


Friday, October 15, 2010

Our Daughter - Ruthie's Victory

I’m just overwhelmed to gigantic proportions by just how much my Lord loves me. I am his beloved daughter whom he loves deeply with an everlasting love. He always meets me right where I am at on any given day. It is the greatest comfort one can have…knowing your Father is always there for you. He is an ever present help in times of trouble…my grandma would quote to me in her beautiful hand written letters.

I needed Him yesterday. But He knew I would need Him before I ever did. I didn’t have to run to Him. He was already with me. My precious daughter needed Him even more than I. I was separated from her and couldn’t seem to get to the school fast enough to just be there for her. Some of you know God's Ruthie is Autistic. She was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome which is a high functioning form of Autism. She suffered a dramatic meltdown yesterday morning.

She is so beautiful to me in every way. I know it sounds silly, but I wouldn’t take away the Autism because it actually makes Ruthie who she is…a joyful, fun, loving girl. God gave me Ruthie. He knew I was just the right mom for her. But He also knew Ruth was just the right daughter for me. I have probably learned more from her than she has from her mother.

As I drove that endless three miles to her school, thinking I just needed to get there…God reminded me. Ruth is my daughter first before she ever became your daughter. It wasn’t an audible voice, but just a thought in my own mind. And then one thought turned into another…I love her even more than you. And then that thought became another…I am already with her.

By the time I got to the school, tears of epic proportions would not stop flowing from my eyes. I took several deep breaths, wiped the tears, and powdered my face in the rear view mirror.

“Help me God.” I whispered gently under my breath and walked into the school.

The tears never did cease and I didn’t speak much. I tried, but I just needed to have my daughter back in my arms again. But you know what…God already had her deep between the hems of His robe. Ruth is His beloved daughter whom He loves deeply with an everlasting love! He met her right where she was at yesterday. His comfort was better than any comfort I could offer. He was an ever present help to Ruth in her time of need! I thank my God for loving our daughter!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Silence is Golden

All I want is to be close to Him. His presence is so peaceful. Yet sometimes I become preoccupied with things…earthly things which should not hold a priority over my heavenly Father. But somehow by my own choice, I allow the world to consume my time with trivial things. This only breeds a frustrated person who cannot give love and life from a selfish unsatisfied soul.


I was sitting…just sitting outside listening intently. I really didn’t know what I wanted to hear, but knew I needed silence to soothe the ache of my busy mind. I heard a mass of birds chattering away in the tallest top of a tree. A blue jay cackled in the neighbor’s yard and caused me to turn my head to catch a gaze upon the bird. Unfortunately, I didn’t see the fowl. But then the sun caught my attention. It was bright indeed, but the beauty of the rays dispersing between the limbs reminded me of the glory of heaven. The breeze was soft against my cheeks and caused the leaves to softly clap together in unison. Some have decided they no longer want to be attached to the tree and fluttered and swayed in a free fall to the ground. Tears began to well in my eyes as I was overwhelmed by the touch of my Creator. How could I have missed such beauty made for me to see, touch, smell, and hear from the great I Am?


All He wants is to be close to me. He wants to bring my mind peace. He desires deeply for me not to be preoccupied with worldly things, but to see His hand as mine. Silence with my Lord is golden. It causes the frustrated unsatisfied soul to free fall to the ground and a life giving soul to arise to stand and lift their hands in praise to their Creator. And God smiles in return!

“Come near to God, and He will come near to you…” James 4:8