Monday, June 11, 2012

I Loved You First

Lately, I have spent a great amount of time just trying to be quiet so I might hear God. I have worked on just praising God instead of always asking for something during these times of reflection…even when things have gone awry and left me speechless. It has not been an easy thing to do. However, it has gotten easier with time and practice, but still is a challenge in the midst of the sin nature present within me.

I know I have hidden myself away from others these past few months. I have been unsure of what to do, who to trust, and in general very disappointed with myself. Why? I’m not sure. I wish I knew and then maybe I could fix my “stuck” mode. But maybe, just maybe…I’m not supposed to know the why. And maybe I need to be “stuck” so God could once again chisel me a bit more into the image of Him and make His dreams come alive within me instead of my own.

I was at a wedding this past weekend and when the bride danced with her father the chosen song was, “I Loved Her First”. I watched with a tilted head and tear filled eyes as the father softly whispered into his daughter’s ear…and her hand gently lifted to her face to wipe the tears that fell from her eyes. It was precious. But while I stood and gazed at the beautiful scene before me, I could hear the whisper of God telling me…”I loved you first”. I caught myself imagining me in the arms of my Savior, dancing close, and He whispered to me…”I loved you first, I held you first, you still mean the world to me, and there is a place in my heart that will always will be yours…from the first breath you breathed…I loved you first and always will.”

Even though I don’t know what God is up to, I know He has my best interest in mind. I will stand firm on His promises knowing that He will never leave me nor forsake me…for He loved me first! I love you God!

4 comments:

marygems said...

I hear you, I do. Sometimes it seems like nothing is happening in our relationship with God- but in standing on the promises and discovering evidence that he has been at work in our lives, I have learnt not to worry about what I " feel" and just stick with what i KNOW= he will never leave us; He is always with us; he is always working on our behalf for our BEST etc. Just trusting and resting, peace has gradually become evident in my life- and that is one of His greatest gifts to us. I didn't ever find it when I was striving or trying to earn His favour.
Like you, I am drawing aside and waiting on Him. While I don't always feel His presence, things happen during my day which assure me He is very much with me and in me.
May He become very very real in your life also, as you draw aside to wait on Him, trusting in Him.
Many Blessings be to you and yours.

Shannon Jacobyansky said...

marygems...thank you so much for your kind reply. You remind me of my precious grandma who passed over five years ago...I miss her dearly!

Nita said...

Being stuck, secluding myself...that place right now is familiar for me as well...yet I think He must be working in our hearts for something bigger.

You are dearly loved and missed! Thank God for technology so we can still be connected! xoxo

Nita said...

Being stuck, secluding myself...that place right now is familiar for me as well...yet I think He must be working in our hearts for something bigger.

You are dearly loved and missed! Thank God for technology so we can still be connected! xoxo