Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Everything New

Goosebumps formed over my entire body and the chill of air condition made me long for the hot sun which I viewed from the pew in which I sat. I wanted to get up and leave the Wednesday evening service and warm my shivering body. Actually, I wanted to run...where...I don't know...but any place that would bring familiarity back to a lonely soul.

I fought the tears nearly allowing them to spill from my hazel eyes to my newly sunned cheeks from the day at the pool. I held the salted drops don't know...because with every song... I couldn't sing and had to tell myself to just breath deeply as I bit the inside of my lip.

I gazed at the bracelet I choose to wear. A gift from a friend I had left behind in Iowa. I moved the jewelery counter clockwise around my wrist until at last the silver cross appeared. I missed my friend and her kitchen table where we talked until our eyes grew weary and longed for sleep.

Everything is new. I couldn't call one person by name and sadly none approached to say hello to me. O how I longed for someone to notice my sad heart. They seemed to want to love their church family well and even prayed for continued unity. But I wondered... were they so caught up in themselves that they missed the chance to welcome with hospitality the new person who wanted to be included and feel a sense of family?

The pastor's message was wonderful and I found myself reminded, indeed I was not alone, but my forever friend still sat beside me comforting my lonely heart once again. My Jesus never leaves me nor forsakes me, but always pursues me and my heart which longs for his love.

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