Wednesday, April 15, 2009

My Body is Failing Me

I’m tired today…really tired. I awoke at the normal hour, but left by 7:50 am for a doctor’s appointment. Ginny went along with me and her soothing voice which guided my way gave me a calm assurance I would reach my destination on time. Today’s visit to the doctor was all about my diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA). I had to see a specialist. There were a lot of questions, pokes, prods, and the question,

“Does this hurt?”

My left hand has been highly affected by the RA. Around Christmas and through mid March, I had severe pain in this hand specifically the index finger. I was unable to do the simplest tasks such as tie my shoe, put a button through a button hole, or open a jar. It was hugely discouraging to say the least to be face to face with this disease (RA) at forty-two years old. After all, arthritis is for old people…right?

When I left the doctor’s office today, I had a prescription in hand and then traveled across the street for blood work and x-rays. They just didn’t take one, two, or three valves of blood…nooooo…they had to take six! Then it was off to x-rays. They just didn’t take one, two, or three x-rays….get this….they took twenty-five! I guess it is imperative for the doctor to have something to compare my joints to in future years. Needless to say, I was glowing as I walked out the exit.

I drove home thinking this is it…I’m officially old! My body is failing me. Rheumatoid Arthritis is actually an auto immune disorder which causes your body to attack itself. No one knows what causes it or how to cure it. You’re just prescribed drugs to lessen the long term affects such as disfigurement of your hands and feet. My body is failing me. All the blood work was done to rule out other deficiencies so they can know what medicine to give me or not give me. I don’t even know if I want to take the medication. They all have such bad side effects. My body is failing me! They really have to take into consideration my four leaky heart valves which were discovered in September this past year. I was diagnosed with Aortic Regurgitation Disease. I need an echo cardiogram every year to watch the progression of my valves. I’m told I’m looking at valve replacement in future years. My body is failing me!

Even though I had my friend’s soothing voice to guide me to my destination, which by the way, Ginny is my GPS system. I had another much calmer voice settle the fear within me. The Holy Spirit made his presence known and whispered softly telling me…even though every day my body fails me…I’m one day closer to being home! What marvelous peace it brought to my countenance. I love knowing my friend and Savior Jesus and the hope He brings to me each and every day despite life’s difficulties!

1 comment:

mm1985 said...

Oh my dear friend, your body may be failing, but God will never fail you. I'm sure today was a very difficult day for you and I'm sorry you had to go through it at all...but I know the Holy Spirit will continue to minister to you.