If you read my last post, you know for Lent I have decided to give up my desires for the sake of Christ. Let me tell you, it is not an easy thing to do by no means. It has been a constant uncomfortable struggle between my flesh and its desires and the fierce Holy Spirit who relentlessly whispers gently within my mind in a sweet melody. But even the sweetest of melodies at times have been drowning me in the undertow of fleshly desires. It has left me tired with arms flailing in a maddening sense as a gasp to keep my head above water for another breath of fresh air. I need to give up and give in and allow Jesus to hold me awhile in his arms.
My heavenly Father continues to teach me through this struggle that I cannot will myself into compliance of His desires for my life. Only God in his infinite sovereignty and my surrender to His Lordship can make my heart comply until my soul cries out unspeakable joy and glorious contentment. It is a moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day commitment to seek to “be” instead of “do”. I have come to greatly appreciate the power of quieting myself before my Lord so I might better hear him sing over me and let Him paint the canvas of my life with more vibrant colors of His grace, mercy, and love.
My heavenly Father continues to teach me through this struggle that I cannot will myself into compliance of His desires for my life. Only God in his infinite sovereignty and my surrender to His Lordship can make my heart comply until my soul cries out unspeakable joy and glorious contentment. It is a moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day commitment to seek to “be” instead of “do”. I have come to greatly appreciate the power of quieting myself before my Lord so I might better hear him sing over me and let Him paint the canvas of my life with more vibrant colors of His grace, mercy, and love.
Dear Heavenly Father…
please continue to help me surrender myself continually to you. It is so hard to lay 'em down and I can’t do it on my own. I need you! So please be patient with me Lord and help me to be patient with myself those times I fail. Let me see the small successes that I might praise you all the days of my life!
~Amen
1 comment:
Shannon,
I love your writing. Perhaps you need to look at your struggles in a different way. The reason you struggle is becase you(we all are) a poor miserable sinner. Our flesh is sinful we cannot on our own make it bend in obedience to God. Lay your struggles into the most capable hands. He knows you inside and out and still loves you. Yes, it is a wonderful thing to want to live for Christ every single day and as Christians we want too. But we fail...over and over again. Part of our Lenten journey is realizing we CAN'T but Jesus DID. He did it so we do not have to beat ourselves up when we cannot fit into the ideal perfection we want too.
We can go to sleep joyfully knowing our sins are forgiven. God understands us better than we can even begin to comprehend.
Live in His Grace. Breathe in His Mercy, love and forgiveness. Let His perfect love surround you and it will mold you into the person He has created you to be.
Love,
Michelle
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