Wednesday, November 12, 2008
God Winks & King Kisses - My Heart Belongs to Him!
I feel forgetful and my mind is in a state of haziness. I have not been feeling well as I have been suffering with sinus congestion and a cough. A good nights rest has avoided me for several days now causing my eyes to feel very heavy.
Frankly, I feel as if I have been avoiding God to a certain extent these past several weeks….not intentionally…but when I pondered my life’s situation at the moment I wondered why I did not feel God close to me. I have felt lately as if I am in a dark room with no light and I’m feeling around with my hands and slowly shuffling my feet trying to get a sense of direction and not bump into anything. But to no avail the bumping into things just keeps on happening and I find myself constantly saying,
“O that hurt!”
I guess I’m just tired. All the moving we have done over the past seven years has finally taken its toll on me mentally and physically. It has not been an easy road. Especially since this all started when my kids ranged in age from 6 months to 7 years. Now my oldest is almost 14 and my youngest 7 and we’ve lived in six different places during this span of time. My husband has said,
“This is it…we’re not moving ever again.”
I’m thankful for those words. I don’t think I could do it again.
This post is just a rambling of sorts. My mind still feels in a fog. But a friend encouraged me to write. It’s my gift from God. It’s something I do well. At least I think I do. My friend also knows that writing helps me heal. Crying does as well…I’m doing that right now too.
I just need to focus on the God winks and King kisses. I need to sit in my saviors lap awhile and just talk. He knows my heart…my every need…my hurts…my pain. But somehow just being with Him calms me. My heart belongs to Him forever!
Posted by Shannon Jacobyansky at 10:13 PM