BLAHHHHH and UGHHHHH Tonight!!!

BLAHHHHH!!! This is how I feel tonight. My son just took a picture of me on his new phone to help him figure out how to work the new fangled piece of sophistication...well...I looked at the picture. UGHHHHH!!! It was awful! I've never seen a picture in which I looked so heavy! Grant you, I had been working in the yard tonight so I was certainly not all spiffed up, but folks it shocked me! I made my son erase the picture immediately!

What has happened to me? Where has my discipline gone? I lost all my weight after the delivery of all three of my children and now...I feel like a hopeless case of old age with gravity winning. Honestly, even before my son took the picture today, I had already put my self down several times to my hubby. He disagrees of course and tells me I'm beautiful, but come on...the mirror doesn't lie. I was the athlete...the fit chic...body builder at one time in college...but now...I'm just one big pear!

I have been doing Weight Watchers and I have lost 9 pounds in the last 4 weeks. I guess it's good, but not great, and yet better than losing nothing at all. If I could just get my butt moving to exercise more, I know it would aid me greatly in my quest to be slimmer. I'm an impatient person and want results in a snap, but I know it is better for me to loose the weight more slowly rather than too quickly.

Dear Heavenly Father...you know how much I have struggled with my weight the last three years. It's not my desire to be a skinny chic, but just a more healthy woman. Help me Lord to stay focused on you and your desire to see me take care of my physical body so I am more able to live longer and do the work you have set before me in the years to come. I don't even know where you will take me tomorrow or the next day let alone 6 months from now or a year down the road. All I know is I want to be ready...spiritually and physically...to answer your call whatever it may be!