The Results are In...The Good & Bad

Some of you may know in the past month I have been going through some tests for my heart. My current doctor found what he thought was a heart murmur. This was followed by an EKG which showed abnormal rhythm of my heart. They then sent me for an echo-cardiogram. The results of the echo are good and bad.

All four of my heart valves leak. I think I'm still in shock over this and have not talked about it much to anyone. They are concerned mostly about the left side of my heart which includes the aortic valve. They have diagnosed me with Mild Aortic Regurgitation Disease.

There is nothing I can do for my heart at this time. I'm to live my life as I have been living. The doctor put me on no restrictions. Every two years I have to go back for an echo cardiogram and see if there have been any changes. If it worsens in two years, I will have to go on medication to slow the degeneration down and have an echo ever year thereafter. If at anytime I feel very winded and tired after going up and down the steps for example...there is a problem....if I feel faint or lightheaded when I stand from sitting or laying down....there is a problem...if I get an unexplained cough and my ankles start to swell....there is a problem and I will have to go in sooner rather than later for the echo. That is the good news. The bad news....down the road I am looking at a valve replacement. When, we don't know. In some people this progresses quickly in others it could be years.

I am at peace with everything and I praise God the doctor found the problem and I believe in two years a miracle will happen and I will be healed...my heart made whole. Thank you Jesus!

Who leads? Who follows?

I awoke in the middle of the night to a twitch or more like a muscle spasm in my left bicep muscle. It was very annoying causing me to lift my other hand and put pressure on the point of irritation to stop the nuisance. When I was confident the twitch had stopped, I released the grip of my hand but soon the muscle was having fits again. I couldn't sleep and as usual when I am awakened during the night I began to pray small utterances. The more I prayed, the more I craved more alone time with my Jesus. So not wanting to rouse my husband from his sleep, I grabbed my pillow and went to the couch downstairs and spent a marvelous time in conversation with my best friend Immanuel. I spilled my guts talking to him about my troubles, my kids, and my husband. Some points of contention within my own heart brought my eyes to tears and I sobbed and cried some more. After several minutes, the tears stopped and a peaceful calm rested upon my shoulders enveloping every ounce of my being. My troubled heart settled and joy did abound once again. The annoying twitch had ceased.

How wonderful our Father is to us. He longs to hear from us, but so often we get so busy with our "to do" list we often leave him in the dust behind us. If only we would get it through our thick heads...He must lead and we must follow! In John 15:9-10, Jesus himself talks about how to make our joy complete...REMAIN IN HIS LOVE AND OBEY HIS COMMANDS!

I plead with all of you today; if you feel you've lost your joy and troubled waters have flooded the chambers of your heart, take some time to sit in the lap of Jesus and talk awhile and be rejuvenated with grace and love of our Abba! He will calm the storm and the flood waters will recede and be no more.

My Prayer

Lord I pray you take me to the garden this day. Please hold my hand and lead the way to where you placed the ashes of my life. Show me right where you dug the whole and laid the ash to rest. Lead me to where you covered the cinereous with the dirt from which I came and from which I shall return. Let me breathe deeply when we reach the garden so I may smell the fragrance of the lily which has grown over the very spot you placed the ashes. Remind me my Jesus of the beautiful woman you have made me despite my downfalls and faults. I know I still have buds which have not yet opened and still need to bloom.

Pull me into your lap sweetly and sit awhile and comfort me my Prince of Peace. Sing to me Jesus…sing to me…I want to hear you lullaby this night. Rock me in your arms and tenderly lift your nail pierced hand and brush the hair away from my face so I might clearly see your eyes. I need to see your eyes. Let my soul then sing back quietly and the reflection of the cross be etched in my eyes for others to see. O, Lord let them ask what is different and in return let me boldly reply…

“It is Christ in me the hope of glory!”

Amen


"Provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor." Isaiah 61:2-4

Cholesterol Results

Willow Angle...it's a green color with a little bit of brown...I picked it this morning along with some mocha glaze to put over top using a brush technique. I have some other things in mind to go along with these two colors and was buzzing with excitement as I walked through the back door. I was going to have lunch, turkey spinach multi grain wrap with low fat mayo and carrots, and then get to painting.

The phone rang interrupting the first bite of my lunch. It was my doctor informing me of the results of my blood work which I had drawn on Friday. It wasn't good. My overall cholesterol 273. My bad cholesterol(LDL), which should be 100 or lower, is 185. My good cholesterol(HDL), which should be 50 or better, is only 42. My doctor said,"Sorry I know this is not what you wanted to hear, but your best choice is medication." He is going to wait until after next Tuesday, pending the results of my echo cardiogram to prescribe the necessary meds. I did not expect these numbers to be good, but they are worse numbers than the blood test 7 months ago.

It is hard I will admit. The "what if" syndrome creeps into my mind causing emotions to flow freely, but I must quickly douse the fire of fear knowing one thing has not changed. My Jesus is still the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is the one person who will not disappoint or fail me. He is my Prince of Peace. I will put my hand in the hand of the man who stilled the water and raised Lazarus from the dead. He is my Immanuel!

The white batter poured from the large measuring cup and hit the hot griddle with a sizzle. I quickly grabbed a few chocolate chips to sprinkle on top of the batter of the fluffy pancake.As the hot cake cooked, the sausage patties sputtered and crackled in rhythm while my sense of smell was heightened by the minced pork and made my mouth water and desire a taste.

When your doctor says your heart may have a problem and you know you already have high cholesterol due to heredity, you look at your three young children and know you have to make some changes. Please understand, I'm not an obese person. I have gained some weight over the past three years due to the stress of so much moving. I hadn't been eating as healthy as I should and fast food was a quick and easy alternative when a house showing was on the agenda. My love to cook and bake does not help my heart health situation either.

So, while I truly enjoyed making my children, niece, and nephew breakfast this Labor Day, I settled for some oat bran cereal and a cup of coffee. I have also purchased a book called,"The New 8-Week Cholesterol Cure" by Robert E. Kowalski to grasp a better understanding on reversing my current heart health. I have also purchased some vitamin supplement to gain more vitamin C which aids in the protection the lining of my artery walls, vitamin E, and selenium. Selenium is a powerful antioxidant. I also found the beta-carotene is also great for my heart. So if I start getting an orange tint to my skin...it's because of the carrots...lol!

I had my blood drawn on Friday to see where my cholesterol stands (it was nearly 300 with a high amount of harmful LDL 7 months ago) and the doctor also wanted to test me for Diabetes. I'll keep you all updated on the results of this blood test. My echo-cardiogram is scheduled for September 9th.

In the mean time I will, "Trust in the Lord with all thine might and lean not into thine own understanding, but in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall make thy paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

The Cry of My Heart

Tuesday morning ...

7:45 am
I stomped around our living room teaching the famous Mickey Mouse Show theme song to my son. You know the one....M-I-C....see ya real soon...K-E-Y...why because we love you....M-O-U-S-E...Mickey Mouse....Mickey Mouse....yeah you remember. Actually I was inserting the letters of our last name...J-A-C.....O-B-Y....A-N-S-K-Y....trying to teach my youngest son how to spell his last name for school. It was a wonderful fun filled moment indeed!

7:55 am
I'm in the car with all three of my children taking the two oldest to school. As always, I turn down the radio and pray aloud for all three of my kiddos. It is soon followed by utterances from my little ones telling me something they are thankful for today.

8:20 am
I return home with my youngest and we enjoy some reading time out loud together before his time to go to school.

8:55 am
I take my youngest to school.

9:15 am
I stop and get a cup of coffee before I go to my doctor's appointment.

9:40 am
The doctor suctions wires all over my body for my EKG.

10:00 am
I sit in utter shock as the doctor shows me my EKG and explains the abnormalities of my heartbeat. He feels two valves may be affected, but wants to schedule and echo cardiogram to get a better picture of what is going on with my pumper and be sure the aortic valve is not affected.

10:15 am
Tears well up as I try to control an irrational outburst as the nurse schedules my echo cardiogram.

10:30 am
As I travel home from the doctor's, the wet drops can be held in no longer. My mind races from one scenario to another about what might happen to me. What about my kids....what about my husband...question upon question....fear upon fear kept building.

After a phone call to my husband to tell him the news of the doctor, I cried some more. But in the distress of the moment I remembered the first sermon I heard Pastor Tim speak. The Sunday service was focused on Proverbs 3:5&6. It was my life verse during my teens years and young adult life. "Trust in the Lord with all thy might and lean not into thine own understanding and in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall make thy paths straight." Pastor Tim asked the entire congregation a thought provoking question.

"What is trusting in God with all thy might?"

His answer simple.

"Knowing God in every step you are in."

Do you think it was coincidence this thought came to my mind at that very moment or do you think it was a God moment. I clearly, unequivocally believe it was God through his precious Holy Spirit speaking a truth to me I needed to hear. I began to pray seeking the comfort and peace which could only come from the Father of heavenly lights.

How quickly life can change. I went from singing the Mickey Mouse song with my youngest son to the sad cry of my heart...literally and emotionally. My echo cardiogram is scheduled for September 9th and while I wait I will try to live and love each moment for my Jesus. When I look beyond to the unknown and Satan tries to strike me with fear, I will call upon my friend and Savior to take every thought captive. I will live in joy and not allow Satan to win the battle of my mind for my God is greater and I have already won the victory through my Immanuel! Praise be to God forever and ever! Amen!

Exhilerating, Beautiful, and Full of Hope

Last evening I went for a nice long walk. I slipped my mp3 player into my pocket and pushed the earphones deep into my ears. I was longing to listen to some good praise music and take a stroll with Jesus.

As I pounded the pavement, my arms swinging in full motion to get the most of my exercise, I was overwhelmed with the beauty of my Savior in the nature surrounding me. It was exhilerating as the the sun began to set in it's brilliant array of orange and yellow. The sight to my eyes was breathtaking as I gazed beyond the landscape to the the tall hills in the distance. When I got to the peek of the highest hill I would have to climb, I wanted to run...I wanted to run and scream with my hands held high proclaiming just how much I love my Lord. I wanted to, but I didn't thinking my new neighbors would think I was a crazy woman and not allow their children to play with mine....lol!

Jesus my friends makes life exhilerating, beautiful, and full of hope. I'm just an ordinary person, but knowing Jesus makes me extraordinary ! It gives me great joy to serve such an awesome man! A man who gave his life for me....for little 'ole me!

We have all heard the "redneck" jokes, but have you actually had to live out being a "redneck"? This week a baby tooth which never fell out decided it was time to leave. Unfortunately, I had no ivory above to replace the now vacant spot. Yes, I lived being a "redneck" with a gaping whole viewed by all in the front of my upper row of teeth. Fortunately, I got in to see a dentist quickly and she took the lost bicuspid, bonded it to the two teeth on either side of the gap, and after sitting in a chair for an hour and a half with my mouth opened wide; the gap no longer existed. A big praise God for that one!!!

It will be a week before I see the dentist again for a consultation on an implant. An implant is not a procedure which will happen quickly. In the mean time, they will fit me with a "flipper tooth". But for now the dead baby tooth sits glued to my other teeth. I'm to be very careful and not even chew on that side of my mouth. At times I feel I can't even talk as pressing my tongue to the roof of my mouth to make certain sounds hurts a tinge, but also I fear the glue may come loose and the tooth will go flying! Now wouldn't that be a pretty site...lol!

This morning was Sunday and as always it was church day. As they began to sing songs of worship, I soon realized, singing was out of the question. Well unless of course the parishioners in front of me wanted to be taken out by a flying tooth...lol. So I mouthed the words self conscience that others might think I was not participating. Then they sang the song We Fall Down. ...

We fall down
We lay our crowns
At the feet of Jesus
The greatness of
Mercy and love
At the feet of Jesus

And we cry holy, holy, holy
And we cry holy, holy, holy
And we cry holy, holy, holy
Holy is the Lamb

I often dream of the day when I will see Jesus. I picture myself falling to my knees and touching the feet of my forever friend. How I long for our skin to finally meet. Tears will fall on this joyous occasion and I will reach for the hem of his robe to wipe the salted drops away. I will breath in deeply and smell the fragrant myrrh and aloes that gingerly dance in the air around my one true King. I will cry holy, holy, holy is the lamb. He will lift my chin with the tip of His fingers... gaze adoringly into my eyes...I will smile...and looking like a "redneck" with my missing tooth He will love me just the same with an embrace I shall never forget!

Everything New

Goosebumps formed over my entire body and the chill of air condition made me long for the hot sun which I viewed from the pew in which I sat. I wanted to get up and leave the Wednesday evening service and warm my shivering body. Actually, I wanted to run...where...I don't know...but any place that would bring familiarity back to a lonely soul.

I fought the tears nearly allowing them to spill from my hazel eyes to my newly sunned cheeks from the day at the pool. I held the salted drops in...how...I don't know...because with every song... I couldn't sing and had to tell myself to just breath deeply as I bit the inside of my lip.

I gazed at the bracelet I choose to wear. A gift from a friend I had left behind in Iowa. I moved the jewelery counter clockwise around my wrist until at last the silver cross appeared. I missed my friend and her kitchen table where we talked until our eyes grew weary and longed for sleep.

Everything is new. I couldn't call one person by name and sadly none approached to say hello to me. O how I longed for someone to notice my sad heart. They seemed to want to love their church family well and even prayed for continued unity. But I wondered... were they so caught up in themselves that they missed the chance to welcome with hospitality the new person who wanted to be included and feel a sense of family?

The pastor's message was wonderful and I found myself reminded, indeed I was not alone, but my forever friend still sat beside me comforting my lonely heart once again. My Jesus never leaves me nor forsakes me, but always pursues me and my heart which longs for his love.

Hero to the Rescue

As the raging waters rise in Iowa and violent tornadoes rear their fatal blows, I sit anxiously watching the news in Pennsylvania praying our home in Iowa is kept safe. We have recently moved to the Keystone sate and left our home, which has not yet sold, empty and void of our children's laughter. After five days of severe rain totaling 11 inches as of yesterday morning; more torrential downpours were expected last evening.

When the realtor we enlisted to care for the sale of the home called and informed me of six inches of water in the basement of the historic Taft house,
I frantically began to call church family members to find someone who would sump pump the soggy mess to the street outside before the rains would come again and reach the furnace.

Finally after three phone calls, I reached my heroes! I would just like to express my sincere appreciation to Jeff Davis and Mark Schultz who came to our rescue and within an hour of making my request known were at my home and began the process of pumping the water out.

Although we only lived in this area of Iowa for 10 months, we connected with a wonderful church family at Oak Hill Baptist Church. These two men are both members at this place of worship. They are family to us because of one common denominator...Jesus Christ! Although I may naver make it back to the town founded by Mr. Taft and see these caring brothers again, I will definitely request of the Lord to have them greet me or I greet them at the pearly gates with a huge hug, a kiss of friendship, and a mighty embrace of thankfulness!